Out of Control

Art by Remedios Varo
Art by Remedios Varo

All my life I’ve been fighting with the same demon, with the same fear of being out of control. In a world where nothing is permanent, being out of control is the worst fear I could encounter. Since I was very young I’ve tried to fight this fear in all the wrong ways possible; trying to keep under control things in my life. I used to organize every single item in my room, the small space that was my Universe, as a metaphor of organizing all the external factors that flow on a bigger order. I used to try and control my relationships, all of them, in order to feel safe. But I realized that organizing all the material realities in which I lived didn’t help at all. I was still spinning out of control; because the Universe is a big dark chaos in the eyes and minds of human beings. Our brains are too shallow to understand that there is a greater picture being played, of which we have no idea. And the only way to see what the outcome is, is to trust and have faith that everything and everyone is happening in our lives as they have to.

Trust. Faith. Such powerful words that nowadays have been neglected to every single article, book and reference we can find. But, do their true meaning still resound in the profoundity of our souls? I’m still working on it. Every day. Every minute. Every breath.

The only way to “control” the uncontrollable is to flow with it. There is no other secret for the end of suffering than to let things happen as they do. Always. In every situation; and I don’t want to say in every good or bad situation, because there is no such thing as good or bad, only different perceptions.

Life is like a huge labyrinth through which we walk. There are many different paths for each of us to choose, and all of them lead to the same center, eventually. We can choose a straight line, or we can get lost, but it doesn’t really matter. It’s all in the choices we make every second. We have the power to co-create our reality if only we know how to connect with that center. We can follow our intuition and the signs that are placed along our way, or we can choose to ignore them all. In the end we will only get to the center if we learn each and every lesson meant for us.

My choice is to let go. Let go of the path and the labyrinth itself, let go of my footsteps along the way, let go of suffering, let go of having choices. Let go. The way to flow with the energy is to let go of the waves and become the ocean.

Do what you need to do in this life, fulfill your purpose and then let go, knowing that everything you did, the life you had, has always meant to be as it is. Your destiny, our destiny, is written in the choices we make. In every single breath we take, we have the infinite power and wisdom of the Universe. We just have to learn to become aware again of the oneness of it all, the wonderful connection of us all. We are walking together Home.