There is this lesson everyone mentions at least once in their life where they start paying more attention to the people who actually love and support them, and leave or let go of those who don’t. Toxic people, relationships, environments, jobs, etc.
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This is a great way to keep safe, to keep protected, to live with motivation, to feel some kind of belonging. It is great to keep someone or something that makes us suffer away from us. It also makes me think a lot about how this is also separation, another type of illusion, of false safety.
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If we only surround ourselves with those who think like us, or with comfortable situations, aren’t we closing the door to learning new things? To experiencing other aspects of life? Like learning how to disagree in an argument without losing respect; like learning to love and appreciate someone whose life choices you don’t necessarily agree with; or simply learning things outside of your comfort zone?
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I feel I have learnt the most when I look back and I appreciate the ‘difficult’ moments and relationships of my life. When things are flowing, and all is good, I am thankful, I enjoy the peace, but I also continue learning from those past experiences and analysing them, and seeing how they feel after a while. The same thing I do with my beliefs, opinions, values, thoughts. I revisit them again and again, because they change as much as life, reality, existence, does.
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From the actual absorption of those lessons, after a bit of time, I feel confident enough that the next time I am faced with a similar situation, I will first stop, breathe, and then act. If I don’t, because I am not capable of catching myself in time before reacting to a trigger, I try to treat myself with love and compassion. Try again and again. Creating a habit.
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What is clear to me is that life itself is a constant practice, and for that, I am thankful. I truly feel that being an eternal student of life and of myself is all I ever need. Forever practicing in this journey.
Journey To The Self 