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Thoughts…. What we think is true for us. No matter what others think, we know our truth… The problem comes when there is an imbalance expressing and living and being our truth. When we don’t align with it we feel lost in other people’s truths. Isn’t that scarier than to become who we are even if we think we could fail? Fail at being ourselves? I don’t even know if that is possible, but I do know that what we believe to be true, is true for us… Revisiting beliefs is scary. Not having beliefs at all and just flowing in the moment is even scarier. But I will always prefer to try it than to live in someone else’s dream. That’s just what I think now. What I will think and believe tomorrow I don’t know. For once, I’m ok with that, with not knowing. Something has shifted and the void and darkness of emptiness has become freeing in a sense. Swimming in an ocean of possibilities feels more comfortable now.

Photo by me in Spain

◾Continuing with my theme for April: Patience/Acceptance◾

When we meditate, we are used to observing our thoughts. How they appear and disappear, leaving some space between them that takes us to the depth and infinity of understanding. This past week, as I wasn’t being so strict with my practice, I decided to play a game with myself and observe my emotions and feelings also, this time in everyday life. I realised that some emotions are like thoughts, if you observe them they eventually pass. Other emotions are rooted so deeply within ourselves that we think they are the core of our beings… But emotions, and feelings, and thoughts… and beliefs, all are just visitors. They aren’t who we are; their mission is to show us the way to this truth by pointing out what we are not…. The only thing needed is patience, acceptance and a very strong will power and capacity to observe without acting. Still an every moment practice, until the end, but the more I do restrain myself from reacting, the more I lose the feeling of reacting in the first place… Accepting that my life is shifting, that my beliefs are changing, that we can never be who we are as a fixed point in time, we are always in movement, in change, being change. The true essence of existence.

My altar

◾My theme for April: Patience/Acceptance◾

Shedding many layers that were weighing me down. Seeing things with the same eyes, but with new perspectives, new patterns are unfolding and old habits are becoming so obviously rotten… I feel like taking action already, but the stars, my intuition, the blood in my veins are all whispering another story. A story of patience, of courage in vulnerability. A story of breakthroughs and stillness in chaos. A story of non attachment, of observation. So I must listen to this knowledge older and wiser than myself, vast as all existence. At least I’ve learned to hear it. I listen and I wait. I wait. And when the time comes I’ll be ready.

I love being at home. Back to my roots. Back to basics. Always back to the breath. When I’m here I truly believe in time travel. How we wander off in our thoughts, and lives, many lives…. many experiences. I really start to confuse time. What was the past, what is now. How things have changed. Well, how I’ve changed and see all differently…. When I’m here, here and now, I realise I never had to go anywhere. We never have to go anywhere or do anything to find anything or to be anything. All we are, all we need, is always here.

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“I know all created beings in the past and present, O Arjuna, and those that will be, but no one knows Me.” The Bhagavadgita. 

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:•: My Theme for March: Abundance :•:

Dissolution. Surrender. Death. Silence. Space. The void. 🌀

For abundance to make its way up to me I must let go… Lately, I’m ‘knowing’ this truth in my cells. Dissolution. Change. I am in awe of how perfect all these life changes are. In an instant. In a moment of awareness we can find peace.

I dissolve without fear.